When I decided to transfer to my university in Portland I was both excited and nervous. I was happy for the move, to be in the PNW, and to have a chance to potentially meet more Christian friends. Anytime a big move happens there are naturally some nerves. The fact that this school did not have a women's soccer team added to my anxiety, as much of my personality and ability to handle life are tied to soccer. The first few weeks were fun with the welcome events, getting in the groove of classes, and finding some new local cafes and restaurants. But after a few weeks the only genuine friends I had were all on the men's soccer team. Since the team was in season, they were gone, practicing, and traveling consistently. This added to my feelings of loneliness and exclusion. I had never been in a place where I did not have trainings, built in friends through my team, and a consistent schedule due to my sport.
Everyday I would run and lift in the gym by myself. One day, a girl approached me while I was on the treadmill and said she had been watching me the last few weeks and thought I might enjoy the cross country team. Please understand that up to this point, there was not a single thing I enjoyed about running. My last 6-8 years of soccer up to this point were filled with coaches who made it clear running was only to be used as a punishment. So even when I ran on my own, it just felt like I was punishing myself. I knew that was unhealthy, as some of my better coaches did fitness in a way that was not deprecating and in these seasons I loved running. However, knowing my relationship with running was unhealthy did not mean that I necessarily wanted to fix it by joining a college cross country team...
For some reason I made the craziest decision of my life and said I would join. Honestly, the reason was that I realized I had always relied on sports to make friends and was not having much success with the absence of my beloved soccer. The next day I joined the practice and it happened to be the hardest day of the week - intervals. I made it through the practice but I was TERRIBLE! I had no concept of pacing, could barely move by the last few, and wondered what the hell I had just agreed to when I had not done summer training for running at this level. When practice concluded I was positive these girls would let me know how bad I was and that I would never show my face to runners again. Soccer girls would have been like that anyway, I am sorry to say. I love my soccer girls but we can be awful humans who want to "protect" our level of play and team strength. These cross country girls were so strange and counter-intuitive to me. They all came up to tell me how well I had done and how proud they were that I finished the session. I was floored that a collegiate running team would be so encouraging when I knew I was horrendous! Their encouragement led to me running anywhere from 5-12 miles almost everyday for the remainder of the season (and this is actually an accomplishment I am quite proud of thanks to their inclusive and encouraging culture).
My least favorite day of our training week was always hills. I still felt like running was a punishment, and adding a hill was inhumane. But our team goal was to work up to running 6 miles of hills by the end of the season, so I endured. Moriah approached me on my first hill session and asked if I would like to partner with her for the day, and I again ignorantly said yes. Moriah is a special kind of crazy because she loves hills and somehow on that fateful day at Mt. Tabor she managed to create a path that ALWAYS had us going uphill! At least it felt like it anyway. The good thing about that day is I was too out of shape to talk as much as normal, so I listened a lot. I learned that Moriah was passionate about missional living and her community, that she was a seasoned traveler filled with wisdom, and was a person who maintained a learning posture. I respected her athletically and personally after that first session, which does not happen very often.
One thing about Moriah that made me instantly decide I wanted to be friends with her was also her ability to talk about human experiences in a vulnerable way that also gave you permission and safety to share. Embarrassing moments, love, romance, rejection, bodily needs, questions about God - anything was on the table for discussion, learning, and growth! Her curiosity for life, desire for accountability, and then her application for growth made her the type of person I wanted in my inner circle. I was fortunate enough that she felt similarly to some degree, because after many years and going through mountains and valleys together, she is still someone I can always call and who will help me on my journey.
Moriah is definitely another one of my soulmates. Her life, dreams, and well-being are some of the most important things in the world to me. Her honesty, questions, and mercy have shaped me substantially over the last few years. And the fact that we keep praying for each other and choosing to maintain our friendship means the world to me. When I get to see her, even if it has been years, it is like having someone who fully sees me and for some reason still chooses to love me. Moriah is always a safe space for me to ask questions, receive guidance and accountability, and get the encouragement that I need. I also think this speaks to another extraordinary characteristic of my beloved friend - she is a wonderful host. Her ability to make any space a warm, welcoming, food-filled, loving, and inviting base for all those around her never ceases to amaze me. Becoming a gracious host is certainly a fantastic way to build community and love those around you well.
For me it is crazy to think that I went running up that hill willingly in 2016, but I would do it all over again every time if it meant I would get to meet Moriah and begin a lifelong friendship with her. If you find someone who embodies the character traits you value or want to have, pursue a deep friendship with them. If someone opens up to you and shares a vulnerable part of their life with you, treasure it and also practice vulnerability with them. And if you want to do hard things (like running up hill both ways or getting through a cross country season with no preseason) find the right person or people because they are out there. You just may have to be willing to go to new places, communities, countries, or contexts to find them. I am so thankful that my craziest decision to change my sports context led me to Moriah. May God bless you with rewarding friendships when you courageously try new endeavors as well :)
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