I tend to argue that romance is dead. I think men are lazy and always think they can find something better (dating apps and social media do not help here at all). I think many women run at the first struggle or pursue things that are worth less than a truly great relationship. I also think romance is dead in the sense that we are so overwhelmed with insignificant and meaningless noise that we miss out on romanticizing our lives - enjoying the stunning spring flowers, the silence that accompanies a fresh snow, the time to reflect on our growth and journey, the delight of a good conversation over a good coffee. We simply are missing or destroying the most worthwhile things due to a plethora of reasons currently. However, after my pessimistic start, I have been fortunate to have an outlier to observe and learn from.
My Baba and Vovo, my paternal grandparents, have lived rather extraordinary lives both individually and as a couple. They have been resilient, truthful, gracious, and forgiving to each other and so many around them. They have also been people who have been willing to reflect, change, adapt, and grow to better love each other and the people around them. This is one of the things I admire most about them, especially since many older people become stuck in their ways. They also enjoy romance and work to create and appreciate it!
When my grandparents were celebrating their 5oth anniversary, my Vovo brought home some pastel pink roses. My cynical self thought it was a bit cheesy at first, but I made a comment about it being cute since celebrating 50 years was impressive itself. My Vovo then started a story about how the roses were the same color as the pants my Baba was wearing the first day he saw her at his rodeo. And how she looked so good in those pants and he knew he had to talk to her. Followed by some reflections and heart-melting commentary of their 50 years of marriage. My teenage cynicism was annihilated and I admired the romance they were allowing me to see a part of.
Throughout my life they have made many passing comments about how the other is their person, how they admire specific traits or actions their partner has taken, and shown respect for the growth or forgiveness they have seen from the other. It is hard to not smile when you hear them talk about each other. They also talk about God, the world around us, and other humans in such tender and commendable ways. My Baba and Vovo seem to see the little things in each other and all around them more than the average person.
These two have also been some of the greatest support to me and my brother for pursuing the little things or romance in our lives. They always have space to hear about our next plan or hopes, they are always praying for us, and they always celebrate the little things with us. They support us in our relationships with everyone around us, with financial support for big dreams, and spiritually as we are tested. They also do a good job of letting us know how important we are to them or reminding us of the little moments they have had with us that mean so much. My Baba and Vovo truly help me reflect on the little notes of romance throughout my life and help me posture myself in a more thankful way.
I sincerely hope every single person gets to experience the level of romance my grandparents have - relationally and within the context of life. But this also means that we have to be willing to acknowledge, create, and pursue romance throughout our lives. Which cannot occur with laziness, time wasting, and unworthy pursuits. It will take dedication and some sacrifice. I am so thankful to my grandparents and the examples they have been for me when it comes to romance, adventure, godliness, and love. I am even more thankful for the support they offer me as I pursue those same characteristics and endeavors myself! Muito Obrigado meu querido avós.
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