I realize it has been a loooong time since I wrote anything, and I do apologize for that. I lost my school email (apparently they delete your email after some time) and my account was linked to that! It took my some time to get it switched over to my main email that I know will not suddenly disappear on me. However, I also have been struggling with trying to adjust to a new normal being back in Colorado and essentially just stopped doing most things I enjoy, including writing out my thoughts.
In this time frame, I have worked one job at a bakery for a bit, been offered another job at a chiropractic office, accepted the new job, and started going to counseling again. It would appear there has been plenty of excitement or newness in my life, but to be honest I hate it and feel so dreadfully bored. I am back in the city I have lived in most my life, back with all my family, and right back in the middle of all my "comfort zones" and usual patterns of behaviors and relationships.
I have never been someone who enjoys comfort zones or being in spaces where set patterns are in place. I want to travel, meet new people, be challenged, learn, and most importantly be redeemed and made new through Christ. I find that when I am home, my growth is often stopped or slowed down terribly, and back to old patterns and ways I go. While I was talking to my counselor about this, I realized how much I missed my friends from university and my professors there.
See, while one is at university you meet a plethora of new people who challenge your standards, beliefs, and your personal construct of normal. You meet friends or adult mentors who begin to help you identify deep wounds of your past, who teach you how to put together what has happened to you, but who will also call you out for where you are lacking or wrong. I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by people of wisdom, develop friends who are closer than brothers, and have people sharpen me and show me Christ's heart towards me and others. I miss these people. I do not miss college by any means, but I miss these friends and this kind of environment.
Being back in Colorado has been hard for me and I have in many ways shut down. I do think my counselor is right in acknowledging this is a season to grow in pursuing joy in the midst of what I view as the bane of my existence. Unfortunately for me, joy has not been my natural gift of the Holy Spirit. So to anyone who reads this or my dear friends, what practices have helped you seek joy and chase after it? How can I grow or hold myself accountable here?
I will be writing more soon on topical and research based things that interest me more. And of course many opinion based posts to come! Again, I apologize for my long absence and will write more enticing pieces soon.
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