I have not posted in awhile because I have honestly found 2020 to be overwhelming and noisy. Whether it has been politics or pandemics, personal relationships or next steps in life, I feel like everyone has something to say and is an expert in their own mind. I have not felt a need to add to some of these conversations as I simply have nothing new or profound to say. When it comes to my personal relationships or next steps, 2020 has been par for the course and interesting to say the least. The more I learn, the less I know. The more I experience, the less I am sure of what to do next. Such is life at times I suppose. Such is life this year.
With all the time I have spent stuck in the maze of my own mind this year, I have realized I am exceedingly grateful for a few things. Certain friends, regaining health and the capability to play soccer, and hard lessons. One thing I have been reflecting on a lot recently that I wanted to take time to write about was my gratitude for the parents I have. They are always supportive of me and those close to me. They are generous without any expectation of it being returned or made up to them. And they are always honest and gracious towards me.
For as long as I can remember, my parents have given in any ways they could. Whether it was buying a meal for someone who clearly needed it or paying for groceries when someone had their card get declined, I have consistently had a great example with little, daily moments. But the big moments have always stood out too. Anytime a friend has been kicked out or in a terrible situation, they have allowed them to move in with us and cared for them with unbelievable compassion. When someone might lose soccer or miss Christmas, they do everything in their power to anonymously donate or drop stuff off to ensure joyful moments and passions are not missed. Their generosity towards others has been a constant in my life that I am so thankful for and hope to emulate well one day.
They also offer so much support that I can never express enough thankfulness for. My parents have worked anywhere from 1-3 jobs to ensure my brother and I could always play the sports we wanted, attend the tournaments we needed to, and take the opportunities to travel and learn that we were presented with. Their work ethic to ensure our opportunities and desires were met is other worldly to me. They also do little things to express their care for us even in young adulthood. Some kids will never have their parent attend another game or performance the moment they get their own license. My parents will still come to my recreational adult league games just to be able to watch me one more time. They also do this for my friends and old players of theirs. They love going to see someone we coached or one of my friends play just to support them and be there. Even when I cannot sometimes! Though this can feel kind of excessive at times, it is such a reassuring gesture to me and my friends of their care for us and our life.
My parents also support every little venture my brother and I attempt. For example, I just started working at a new store, so my father finds every social media platform this store is on to support them as a way of supporting me. They do this with every work venture of mine, which, if you know me, is quite a lot haha. Or when my brother chose to move to Japan to teach English, my father religiously studied all the companies, things to know, and the like to support his decision. My mom will buy things from the places we work at even if it is inconvenient to support us. She will go out of her way to push people towards our ventures and express her excitement towards them publicly. They also have offered some words of support and affirmations to my friends and those close to me at apt times. They always try really hard to see the person and the potential and speak life into that. Even when things are not going well or bad decisions have been made, they acknowledge the problems and circumstances but encourage the growth or next steps needed to become the better version they see of people.
This year as I have ventured into new career opportunities, learned some wildly important things about myself, and struggled through some messy parts of relationships, my parents have been a rock through it all. As I seek to become an educated and competent coach who genuinely cares about their players and teams, my parents have offered me guidance, pointed places for improvement, and praises when they think I have done well. As I came to some realizations about myself and the person I want to be, my parents helped me walk through the complications and critiqued me where I needed it. All the while, never making me feel judged. They simply were pushing me to think through everything and grow to a better version of myself. With the mess that some of these realizations brought to some relationships, my parents have walked with me through it, supported all parties involved, and told me where I need to do better. They push me to be a better friend, a better companion, and a better person in general. Yet, they never make me feel ashamed or moronic for stumbling through life in my rather ungracious and clumsy manner.
Words cannot ever express the love and gratitude I have for my parents. They are far from perfect, but I know they love me and those who matter to me. Knowing they are there is reassuring and gives me the foundation I need to learn, grow, and love others better. Sorry that the first post in awhile is sappy and cheesy with Thanksgiving tomorrow. But I wanted to truly express something I am thankful for and write about something positive amidst this wild year. I hope 2020 has held even a few moments or people that you are grateful for too. Happy Thanksgiving All.
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