"I am going to make everything around me beautiful - that will be my life."
- Elsie De Wolfe
It is rare and special to have a friend who has endured throughout so much of your life and so many versions of you. A friend who as seen some of your best years, and worst. A person who has witnessed your great choices, life lessons, and even the moments where people hurt and dehumanized you. Now when this friend was able to see all of this in all contexts of your life - school, family, friends, soccer, religion, and more - they know you and see you at a truly intimate level. There are honestly only a few people who have ever been privy to my life within every context of it. And the first person who ever had this chance was Amanda.
(I apologize for exposing us with some of these photos - do NOT kill me haha).
I also met Amanda at the same time I met Andi. During my intermediate soccer days, I was blessed with some incredible women and families that have impacted my life largely. But there may not be someone who has impacted me more than Amanda. Please understand Amanda and I were not always best friends or kind to each other throughout our almost 20 years of friendship. In fact, the first practice I met her at, we actually were physically fighting! It was so bad the coach pulled us to the side after practice to address it and offer us some guidance. We agreed with him, but admittedly it was only to get our post practice starbursts. The funny thing with Amanda is I believe both our physical and interpersonal fights ultimately solidified our friendship and understanding of each other. When someone comes back to you following periods of disagreement, you realize that you value each other more than your pride, accolades, or being right. And Amanda is worth far more than all of that to me.
One thing about Amanda and I that bonded us and made us more subjective to direct outbursts is that we both have had some tough moments in life. Especially at reasonably young ages. I am sure some of those moments we inadvertently inflected on ourselves with being strong-willed and direct women. However, much of what we each endured did not come as a result of our own actions or poor decisions. We both simply had some people who hurt us and did wrong to us. Those pains that you cannot explain or understand can be quite heavy and dark, and can cause you to have some versions of yourself that are in survival mode. But I was so fortunate to have a person who stuck with me through my lesser versions and who I could love through her ups and downs.
The one thing that always amazed me about Amanda is her ability to make beauty out of anything, even me! If you want some delicious food or baked goods that also look amazing, ask Amanda to cook for you. You will be very happy with that choice! If you want someone to try a new craft or class with, ask Amanda. If you want to feel beautiful, then ask Amanda. That is what I always did! For every important event where I wanted to feel beautiful, I asked Amanda to fix me up. Dances, weddings, seniors photos... she made me look stunning for all of them. The thing with Amanda is that no matter how broken she is feeling or how broken you are, she can make something beautiful out of it. She reminds me of the quote the blog started with - she makes everything around her beautiful. Including herself, both inside and out. And that internal work is difficult, so difficult. So Amanda deserves so much admiration for all the work she has done.
Amanda has also offered me companionship, a safe place to be truly insane and imaginative, pointed feedback, and competition to keep growing. I am not sure if I will ever be able to encapsulate our whole friendship, how much she has shaped me, and how thankful I am for her. But I hope this blog get some of the love I have for her out there! I also hope anyone who reads this can understand how important beauty is and the people who add beauty to the world are. Beauty makes life worthwhile, and beauty that comes from resilience even more so. For me, that is what Amanda represents to me. An enduring, impressionable, generous, and lasting beauty is the way I see Amanda, and I am so thankful she shares this beauty and pours it out to those around her.
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